Infertility Awareness Week, 2014: A Catholic Perspective

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One of the great things about working in marriage and family life ministry is the ability share the beauty of life-giving love and how openness to life is an important part of the Sacrament of Marriage.  But over the years I have also learned the importance of being sensitive to and praying for those who carry the cross of infertility.  While it is important to encourage couples to be open to life and to see children as a blessing, we also have to remember that there are those who are very open to life and would love nothing more than to be able to achieve pregnancy, but  for one reason or another cannot.  

April 20-26, 2014 is National Infertility Awareness Week.  

My friend Rebecca from The Road Home asked me to share this post from a group of Catholic women who have experienced infertility.  In this heartfelt and personal message these women share helpful resources as well as ways that you can support a family member or friend who might be struggling with infertility issues.  

Even if you yourself are not struggling with infertility, or do not know of anyone who is, please read and share this message, and pray for those who are experiencing this cross.   

"Do not pity us. Yes, we have much sorrow. Yes, we struggle. But, we place our faith in God, lean on the grace of our marriage, and trust that someday, whether here on earth or in heaven, we will see and understand God’s plan."

Infertility Awareness Week, 2014: 

A Catholic Perspective 

One in six couples will experience infertility at some point in their marriage. Infertility is medically defined as the inability to conceive after 12 cycles of “unprotected” intercourse or 6 cycles using “fertility-focused” intercourse. A couple who has never conceived has “primary infertility” and a couple who has conceived in the past but is unable to again has “secondary infertility”. Many couples who experience infertility have also experienced miscarriage or pregnancy loss.

This week, April 20 – 26, 2014 is National Infertility Awareness Week.

We, a group of Catholic women who have experienced infertility, would like to take a moment to share with you what the experience of infertility is like, share ways that you can be of support to a family member or friend, and share resources that are helpful.

If you are experiencing infertility, please know you are not alone. You are loved and prayed for and there are resources to help you with the spiritual, emotional, and medical aspects of this journey....  

7QT #9 On the First 6 Months of Marriage

As of April 5th we've been married for SIX MONTHS!  Time flies by when you're having fun (and trying to make a thesis deadline...).  So here's #7QT on the first 6 months of married life :)

--- 1 ---

NFP ain't no daisies and roses all the time 
but it sure is awesome.

I have mentioned before that I've been teaching Theology of the Body and promoting Natural Family Planning for the past three years, but it's like a whole new ball game now that we are living it.  Call it "street cred", call it "life experience", but being able to share our journey with others while also continuing to learn has been incredible.  We started teaching NFP together back in January, and it is awesome to not only share the science of NFP, but also witness how it strengthens our marriage.  Plus, let's face it: NFP can be challenging sometimes.  And once we start having little baby Johnstons running around, I'm sure our challenges with NFP will be different than they are right now.  But at the end of the day NFP is really helping us to keep God as part of the conversation and discernment about our family plans.  

Thank you Jesus for all 'dem baby stickers.

--- 2 ---

Double Beds Are NOT for Married Couples... 
and other life lessons.

Seriously though.  Learning to sleep next to another person is hard enough, but when both tend to sprawl out (OK maybe it's just me..), ain't nobody getting sleep in a double bed.  Thankfully, we were able to upgrade to a Queen at the end of November.  But more than sleeping arrangements, I'm realizing that marriage is a great way to grow in humility and charity...even if I'm reluctant to do so. 

--- 3 ---

Sometimes we won't like each other.  
And that's OK.

I love this clip from Pope Francis' General Audience.  "Sometimes plates fly!  Seriously!... But there's no need to call in the United Nations..."  :)  Plates don't fly in our casa (maybe a few pillows...) but there are definitely moments where, like any normal couple, we just don't like each other very much.  But that's OK as long as we continue to get real comfortable with the words "I'm sorry," and "I was wrong," and of course, "I love you."

Nerf guns are also helpful.

--- 4 ---

Laughter is a must.

My Valentine's Day gift from Michael:
A homemade cake in honor of St. Valentine's martyrdom.

Marriage is hilarious. Sometimes we just have to laugh at ourselves (or each other... lovingly).  Laughter is a must in married life.  I'm very grateful we have this in our home.  

--- 5 ---

It really does take Three to Get Married

It doesn't matter how many JPII quotes we know.  It doesn't matter how many books we've read, or even how great we are at NFP.  If Christ is not at the center of our family then there's no point.  Lord knows we aren't perfect, and we could certainly be better at prayer... but we're getting there.  God has given us a great gift in this Sacrament, and as a priest told me during confession, "Your husband's soul has been entrusted to you, and yours to his."  Whoa.  No joke.  Our main job is to help one another become saints, and we're going to need God's help (and the intercession of all the Saints!) to help us do this :).  

--- 6 ---

Complementarity is a Beautiful Thing

Honeymooning in Rome: Oct 2013

And I'm not just talking about the male/female dynamic.  We balance each other out and we learn from one another.  I have a tendency to worry, Michael knows how to stay cool and reassure me that everything will work out.  Michael's extremely talented in the "Fix-It" department, and I'm... really good at cheering him on :).  I don't want to sound like I don't have anything to contribute to the relationship; I'm just more and more aware of the fact that there are plenty of situations where, if it were just me, I would have hit level 10 crisis mode, but Michael has been there to help us work through it together.  We're a team.  I look forward to seeing how this teamwork plays out when we become parents :)

--- 7 ---

This is only the beginning.

My sister-in-law made us a DVD with pictures from the last 4 years of our relationship with this song in the background.  The song is beautiful, and seeing our journey summed up in 4 minutes was definitely something to warm the heart.  The best part of the last six months?  It's only the beginning.  God led us to one another, and His hand continues to move in our lives in a really beautiful way.  We might not understand the timing of everything at the time, but God continues to prove His faithfulness in our lives.  If God can do all that He has in the past 4 years... I can't imagine what excellent adventures are ahead for us!

And of course, we continue to ask for your prayers :)  6 months down, many many decades to go!

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

11 Things About d*

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I recently discovered Kendra over at Catholic All Year.  I just love finding other Catholic women out there who are loving and living their vocations as wives, mothers, single ladies, discerning, etc... It makes me appreciate the Body of Christ that much more.   Thank you for your witness ladies (and gentlemen!).  

Kendra had a lovely little link-up I thought I'd try out... we'll call it much needed break from thesis writing/a way to keep blogging without thinking too hard :)  

1. Where do you live? And why do you live there?

Dodge City, Kansas.  Don't know where that is?  Basically the middle of no where in the southwest corner of the state.  It's really not that bad... but who knew Dodge City was a REAL PLACE and not just the location of Gunsmoke?

Why am I here?  Short answer: Because God has a sense of humor.

Longer Answer: Because after I finished my second year of mission/volunteer work I saw an ad for a youth ministry position at a parish in a far off land called Kansas.  I got a call 2 weeks later from the Pastor telling me that the YM position was filled, but he wanted to create a position for me, which happened to be my dream job.  Almost 4 years later and I'm still here.  :)

2. What are you currently watching and/or reading?

I'm working on my thesis so I'm currently balancing several books with short breaks of Netflix and YouTube.  My favorite books from my research are:

by Dr. Pia de Solenni 

And 

Sexuality & Authority in the Catholic Church

by Dr. Monica Miller

On Netflix, I'm watching Arrested Development.  How is it 2014 and I am JUST NOW learning about this show?!  The episodes are just short enough that I don't feel bad when I take a break from reading and need something mindless and humorous.  

Life after the thesis....and I'm almost ashamed to say it... I intend on having a weekend marathon of Game of Thrones Seasons 2-3.  It's bad.. but it's so good....

3. What kind of Catholic are you: cradle, or convert? (Or considering?)

I am a cradle Catholic, but my parents didn't actually start attending Mass until we moved to Memphis when I was in the first grade.  My mom converted to Catholicism a short while later, and then my Dad was ordained to the permanent diaconate in the year 2000.  Since the early 1990s my family has been actively involved in Church life, and that's a big part of why I work for a parish today.   The older I get the more I appreciate my parents and their faith journeys and that they have given us the courage to be Catholic!  

4. Can you point to one moment or experience that made you a practicing Catholic? (Or want to be?)

In January 2001 my high school led the March for Life in D.C.  The night before the march after the vigil Mass we went back to the gym at Catholic University of America, and before going to bed on the gym floor they announced that confession and adoration would be available.  For some reason I felt compelled to go, and this was a HUGE game changer for me.  I already had a love for my faith, but that night at adoration something happened.  The Eucharist was really Jesus (I mean it always has been and always will be but this was the first time I GOT that) and somehow, on the floor of a racquetball court, Jesus became real to me in a very intimate and personal way.  That was the moment something "clicked" and I've never been the same!

5. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

That I actually wear or that are sitting in a box waiting to be thrown/given away?  Next question please?

6. Are you a good dancer?

Wedding reception = The Best Time of my LIFE!

Y'all the Cupid shuffle is my jam.  I love dancing.  Am I good at it?  Doesn't matter.  But I love to dance.  Zumba and wedding receptions (sometimes at the same time) are my FAVORITE.  In fact, do yourself a favor and go have a dance party to this song right now.  

Go ahead.  I'll wait.  

7. Who usually drives, you or your husband?

Depends.  If I promise my husband Promised Land chocolate milk or back scratches, he drives.  

8. What's your favorite holiday and how do you celebrate it?

Christmas is hands down my favorite holiday.  The music. The decorations.  The atmosphere... It's just the most wonderful time of the year!  Being newlyweds, this is one of those holidays we're still trying to figure out.  This past Christmas was our first one together, and it was also the first time we'd ever spent Christmas away from our families.  It was still special, but ideally I'd like to spend Christmas with family, food, and movie marathons in our pajamas with the fireplace going.  

9. Which is correct? Left or right?

What sort of question is this... LEFT of course.  There is no other way.  

10. Do you have any scars?

July 31, 2003* I tore my ACL and meniscus cartilage in my left knee during a tournament at the beginning of volleyball season.  It was my Senior year, and it was a rude awakening to the fact that I wouldn't get to play volleyball in college as I had planned.  But something amazing happened.  God's plans turned out to be so.much.better. than any of my plans for college or playing for the USA Women's team.  I can look at my scar and honestly thank God for it.  Without this scar I wouldn't have studied Spanish and I probably wouldn't have gone to Costa Rica. I wouldn't have ended up in Mexico doing mission work for a year, which means I wouldn't have gone to Texas the following year, which means I wouldn't have met my husband, which means I wouldn't be married and living in southwest Kansas.  Or at least that's how I see it :)


*This is St. Ignatius of Loyola's feast day, who also incurred a knee injury that changed his life.

11. What's the most famous thing you've ever done?

Best wedding present we received.  Hands down.

Well that was a fun break!  

Head over to Kendra's page for other excitement... and maybe even join in on the Answer Me This Link Up on Sunday!  

be at peace

walk on water

be not afraid

d*

7 Quick Takes #8: Lenten Knots & Novenas

It's almost the fourth Sunday of Lent you say?  Oh Lent where hath thou gone?  

Here are #7QT on what the first half of Lent has brought with it thus far....

  

--- 1 ---
#ashtag

Like good Catholics we properly kicked off Lent without the #ashtag.  Props to my friend Omar for getting this awesome selfie of some of our young adult family after the Ash Wednesday Mass.  You can clearly tell that we were stoked for this forty day journey (some of us more excited than others...).

--- 2 ---

Forty Days of Thesis Writing

The Johnston Home Office: Where Newlyweds Write Theses

My hairdresser asked me "What do you and your husband do for fun?"  To which I was only able to resond, "Netflix and thesis writing."  This has been our Lent.  Books, writing, trying not to feel defeated, and taking breaks with Arrested Development.  

The blessing in all of this is that not only are my husband and I in the same graduate program, but our thesis topics are kinda-sorta-not really related.  I'm focusing on   New Feminism and Developing a Theology of Women, and my husband is writing about The Masculinity of God (or why we call God "He").  Blessed John Paul II, Dr. Pia de Solenni, Dr. Monica Miller, and others have been huge helps in these projects.  My love for JPII and the Theology of the Body just keeps growing... and since our final project is due around the same time as his canonization, I figure we've got someone praying extra hard for us in heaven :).  

And we'd really appreciate all of your prayers as well! 
(No really, assault the heavens for us.  We need it!)

--- 3 ---

Did you know she takes care of knots too?

Mary, Undoer of Knots, pray for us!

How have I been Catholic all my life and I am just now hearing about this novena?  This is amazing!  If you've never heard of the Our Lady Undoer of Knots Novena, check it out.  My husband and I are finishing up this novena this weekend, and our big intention has been our thesis projects.  That knot is pretty huge right now, but it's nice to know Our Lady is helping us work through it!

--- 4 ---
30 days with St. Joseph

Speaking of novenas, did you know there's a 30 day St. Joseph Novena?  Neither did I until this past February.  That's another new prayer that is going on my list of favorites.  I won't lie ... that's a long novena prayer... there were nights we weren't sure we'd make it through the whole thing... but we did it!  And we prayed for all sorts of things... our theses, the discernment of our family, family and friends, etc...  St. Joseph is a pretty neat guy... Happy to add him to the list of patron saints for our family!  

--- 5 ---

It's already been a year!

The Proposal:  Easter Vigil 2013

March 30, 2013  just a few minutes before midnight my husband asked me to marry him.  A year later, I see how God's hand has moved beautifully in our lives, and how God's timing is so much better than my own.  We've been married almost 6 months and we've learned that marriage is beautiful, humbling, and requires the Cross to be at the center.  Something tells me the next year will be full of even more surprises and hugs from God! :)

--- 6 ---

Let the Light In

My parish promoted the Sacrament of Reconciliation this Lent with the phrase "Let the Light In".  Here's the video our Director of Youth Ministry made for us, encouraging people to go to make confession part of their Lenten journey.  What do you think? :)

    

--- 7 ---

I'm going to the 2014 TOB Congress!!!  

 I don't even know how I can begin to put into words how excited I am about this trip!  This is going to be one of the highlights of my summer, and a much needed booster shot after graduation.  The speaker list is impressive... we'll be hanging out with folks like Dr. Janet Smith, Christopher West, Damon Owens, and many others who have had a big impact on my formation.  Theology of the Body has played a key role in my ongoing conversion and it's a pretty big part of the work that I do in the parish.  

To be honest, TOB saved my life... but that's another story :)

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

Let the Light In!

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At the end of February my husband and I moved into our new home.

We went from a dark apartment covered in 1970s shag carpet (complete with carpet in the bathroom and kitchen) to a duplex with a finished basement, and extra bathroom, and a kitchen with wood floors.  We're still renting, but this definitely feels like home sweet home!  

My favorite room in this apartment is the family room because it has so much natural light... 11 windows and a large glass door to the backyard.  From the moment we walk through the front door it feels like light just bursts inside.  There's even a skylight in the kitchen.  Light is everywhere and it makes the place feel a lot more like home.

The Old Apartment

The New Home

I didn't realize how dark our old apartment was until we moved.  And now that we have a space with lots of natural light, I can't imagine living in dark "Old Shaggy" ever again.

There are lots of benefits of letting natural light in.  Not only will it keep our energy bills down (hopefully!) but it also feels better.  Light is warm.  It is comforting.  It can put us in a better mood and can even help us appreciate our surroundings.  Light feels like home.

In the midst of completing our move and preparing for the start of Lent, Isaiah 9:1-2 came to mind:

The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light;

Upon those who dwelt in the land of gloom a light has shone.  

You have brought them abundant joy and great rejoicing...

I don't know if I'd call "Old Shaggy" the land of gloom... but there's dramatic difference from where we were to where we are now.  Being in an environment filled with light makes us realize just how dark our last home was, and it makes us more grateful for what we have.  

I think the same thing happens to us spiritually.  Sin loves darkness.  Sometimes we don't realize just how dark the darkness within us is until we've allowed the Light of Christ to break through.  In my own life I can recall moments where darkness had been the norm.  And then at some point, maybe when I least expected it, Christ's love and mercy broke through and the Light that entered into my life brought joy and rejoicing.  With God's grace I was able to recognize the darkness that had once existed for what it really was.

Of course, I am human so I continue to make mistakes and fail... but that's where the beauty of the Sacraments, especially Confession and the Eucharist remind me to renew that joy of being in the Light of Christ.

My friend and coworker, David McHugh (Noelle Garcia's husband) made this video for our parish to help us reflect on how Confession helps us to Let the Light In:  

As we step into the Lenten season and think about what we're "giving up" or "doing extra" over the next six weeks, maybe the first thing we need to do is ask how does Christ want to Let the Light into my soul?  What's keeping me from allowing that Light into my life? And once I've allowed Christ's light to pierce the darkness, what happens next?  How will that light make a difference in my personal encounter with the Lord?

I've said before that Lent is not my favorite and yet I realize that this is the time of year where the Holy Spirit really does a number on my heart if I'm open to it.  It's a time of recognizing my weaknesses, but also allowing Christ to transform those things into strengths.  I feel like this year in particular Christ is asking me to let the Light in, so He can make me who I am called to be.  If I can open up my heart even just a tiny bit more, I think I can come to realize just how much I need Christ in my life and how much I want Him to be there.  

When the Light of Christ bursts into our hearts, we realize that it is beautiful.  It is welcoming and it is merciful.  It is where our hearts are at home.   

Lord, this Lent please let the Light into my soul... 

Pierce the darkness, and lead me to you.  Amen.   

be at peace
walk on water
be not afraid

d*

Jesus I Trust in You!

7 Quick Takes #7: Words That Have Shaped Me

After celebrating another year of life last Friday, I thought I would share some of the words that have had a big impact on my journey over the past twenty-something years.

  

--- 1 ---

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."   

Philippians 4:13

From volleyball games, to giving my first speech, and eventually doing crazy things like going to foreign countries by myself and moving to the far off land of Southwest Kansas... this has been my go to verse.  Major props to my Mom for teaching me this passage, and always reminding me of it when I'm going through the crazy times.   

--- 2 ---

"For I know well the plans I have in mind for you, says the Lord. Plans for your welfare, not for woe. Plans to give you a future full of hope."   

Jeremiah 29: 11

An oldie but a goodie.  I first saw this verse in high school, around the time of my knee injury that ended my hopes for playing college volleyball.  It has always been a good verse to go to in times of transition.  From high school into college, from college into mission work, from mission work to Kansas... God not only knows the plans for my life, He knows them well, and they are plans for a future full of hope.  God is so good (all the time!). 

--- 3 ---

"Do not be afraid! Life with Christ is a wonderful adventure. He alone can give full meaning to life. He alone is the center of history. Live by Him!"

Blessed John Paul the Great, pray for us.

This quote ties right in with Jer 29:11.  I love that JPII said "be not afraid" over and over and over again.  I need to hear this as often as possible.  Life with Christ is a wonderful adventure!

--- 4 ---

"God does not ask that we succeed in everything
but that we are faithful."

Blessed Mother Teresa, pray for us

If you work in ministry of any sort, you understand how refreshing these words can be.  I remember when I first started working in full time ministry and just worrying all the time about failing at what God had called me to do.  Heck, I still worry about failing!  But recalling these words reminds me of what my job is about: to be faithful. 

--- 5 ---

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge him and he will make straight your paths." - Proverbs 3:5-7

 

Summary: God knows more than you do, so trust him.  Don't just trust him with a little bit of your heart, give him all of it.  Life is a little chaotic?  That's OK, because God will straighten it all out in His perfect timing.  This also reminds me that I need make God a part of every aspect of my life, not just pieces and parts of it.  

--- 6 ---

I think the first time I heard these words it was one of those "Aha!" moments where it clicked:  There's only one of me.  There's no one else in the whole world like me.  And God created me for a particular purpose, something that only I can do.  What an incredible thought!  Each of us has a unique purpose that only we can fulfill, and when God is part of that journey then we really can set the world ablaze.  Mind.blown. 

 

--- 7 ---

Matthew 14:22-33

Peter Walks on Water (1806) by Philipp Otto Runge. 
My husband bought and framed this for me for my office. Best.Present.Ever.

If I have learned anything in my twenty-something years it is that life out of the boat is one of the best adventures when Christ is the focus.

I think all of these "words" can be summed up into one simple phrase: 

Be at peace * Walk on water* Be not afraid

d* 

What are some of the words that have shaped you?

Share in the comments below!   

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

7 Quick Takes #6

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Happy Feast Day St. Francis De Sales!  

Let's kick off #7QT with one of my favorite quotes by this awesome Saint:

"Do not fear what may happen tomorrow.  The same loving Father who cares for you today will care for you tomorrow and every day.  Either he will shield you from suffering, or He will give you unfailing strength to bear it.  Be at peace then, and put aside all anxious thoughts and imaginings."

Boom.  Thank you St. Francis.

--- 2 ---

Save all the babies!

Big shout out to all y'all who participated in the 2014 March for Life in Washington D.C.!   600,000 of you standing up for life during crazy cold weather?  Amazing.  I attended the March for Life in 2001-2004 with my high school (we even led the March my freshman year!) and it definitely made a huge impact on my life.  If only the media would pick up on just how incredible this event is....

--- 3 ---

Deacon Dad is famous again

My Deacon Dad served at the Vigil for Life Mass at the Basilica and he even showed up on EWTN a couple of times.  Not that you need any help finding the 6'9" deacon... but just in case....

--- 4 ---

I've officially begun the adventure that is teaching Natural Family Planning!  This is very exciting but also one of those out of the boat experiences and I ask for your prayers!  I've taught theology of the body for 3 years, so now I get to combine faith with science and hopefully share with couples why God's plan is the best plan.  One of my favorite parts of teaching NFP so far is having my husband right by my side.   Hearing him talk about why he is glad we use NFP and how he sees it strengthening our relationship just makes me love him even more.

If there are any NFP Teachers out there with some words of advice as we get started in this ministry, please share your wisdom and experience with us! 

--- 5 ---

The Nominees are in...

I was shocked and surprised to see that I was nominated for "Best Under Appreciated Blog" for the 2014 Sheenazing Awards!  Thanks so much!  God bless the dear soul that nominated me :)    Click on that link to vote or just go check out the list of fabulous Catholic bloggers (and Non-Papists) and vote for them!  If you don't do anything else, check out Bonnie at A Knotted Life. This woman is  amazing! 

--- 6 ---

Beauty & Body

Every now and then SoulPancake posts something that touches that special spot in my heart that causes tears, laughter, goosebumps or all of the above.  One of their latest videos did just that:

)

The poem at the end... dang.  Lord give me the grace and strength to say I have a beautiful body (and mean it!)

--- 7 ---

Still in my Mid-Twenties... right?

A week from today I'll be 8 years into my twenties.  Thirty is just around the corner, but it isn't here yet!  I remember writing a list when I turned 20 that had things I wanted to accomplish before I turned 30.  When I was thinking back to some of the things I put on the list I realized I've already accomplished several of them:  

• Study abroad (DONE)
• Help someone become Catholic. (DONE)
• Do mission work in another country (DONE)
• Get married. (DONE)
• Go to Rome. (DONE)
• Have an audience with the Pope. (DONE, bonus points for Pope Hand)

I need to try to find the actual list amongst my many journals, because I do have some time to get more things marked off.  I know one of the things I listed was to write a book, but we'll see what 28 & 29 have in store.  For now I'm content with just trying to be a better blogger :)

Birthdays are just a great time for me to remember that if God has done this much this far into my life, what other adventures are in store?

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!