God Hears & God Answers: Simon Nathaniel

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He's here!  He's finally here!

There's so much to say about the days and hours leading up to my son's arrival (and a birth story is in the works).  But the one thing that keeps coming to mind every time I cradle him in my arms, nuzzle him close to my chest, or smell that intoxicating newborn scent is I'm so glad that you are here.  

I still remember, quite vividly, the night I found out I was pregnant.  I stood in the bathroom waiting for the flashing dots on the digital tests to reveal our fate.  I was having an internal conversation, my mind swirling with all the reasons why there was no way it could be positive, but everything came to a screeching halt when I looked down and read the word "Pregnant" on the screen.

I gasped.  I think I may have even said the words "Oh no" out loud.  

Unlike my previous 2 pregnancies this was not a moment filled with joy and excitement.  I burst into tears.  I was scared.  It had barely been two full months since the miscarriage and I was pregnant again.

How could I do this?

  Why would God let this happen? 

The doctor told us to wait 3 months before trying to get pregnant again... 

...did I put this child in danger because I didn't chart correctly?  

Am I going to lose this baby too?

I'm not ready...

What if...
[insert a million different worries here]  

I walked out of the bathroom and into my husband's arms.  His reaction was perfect.

"This child is a gift.  It's going to be OK."

It took me weeks to really accept the news.  I didn't want to get too attached or too excited.  I had to protect my heart from being hurt again... Yet in those weeks of waiting to hear my son's heartbeat for the first time, God was working on my heart.

He reminded me that this child deserved to be loved from the very beginning, just as I had opened my heart to love Alexandria & the child that we lost.  God was asking me to trust Him, to surrender all of the fear and worry over to Him.

It was a slow process, and one I struggled with even up to the moment my son was born, but this pregnancy was an exercise in surrendering my anxious heart to Christ.

Now, as I hold my son against my heart, I can't imagine life without him.  Where there was once fear and worry, all I can think about now is how grateful I am that he is here.

I will never know why we lost our baby last December.  I will never understand why that had to happen.  But as I hold my beautiful baby boy I realize that I wouldn't have him if we hadn't suffered that loss first.  God said "let there be life" and here he is!

How We Chose His Name

With all of our pregnancies so far we've been "Team Green", meaning we don't find out the baby's sex before he or she is born.  We try to come up with our top 2 boy and top 2 girl names and then wait and see which one fits the baby best.  

Getting any name on the list seemed more challenging this time around, but when we settled on the names they just felt right.  

Nathaniel is one of the names that we had on the boy list for our firstborn.  For me, the meaning of the name is what kept drawing me to it.  God has answered.  'Nuff said.

The name Simon, on the other hand, sort of took me by surprise.  My brother-in-law, Matthew, was visiting us in August and one night we were going through a name book that had some of the most ridiculous sounding names in it.  We were laughing at the thought of naming our child something strange like "Queezimus" and then Matthew started going through the S names and said "Simon".  "Actually that's not a bad name," he said before moving on down the list.  Something about that name caught my attention, so I googled the meaning:

Simon: Hebrew origin. God has heard.  

Simon Nathaniel. God has heard & God has answered.   That's the name.  My husband agreed, and it was the only boy name we put on our list.  About a week later I went to daily Mass on the feast of St. Bartholomew (whom I learned also goes by Nathaniel), so that was enough confirmation for me that we'd chosen the right boy name. 

What I didn't know at the time was that the feast of St. Simon and St. Jude was October 28th, a week after my due date.  Simon Nathaniel Johnston arrived on Friday, October 28th  at 1:12am.  

Well played, Holy Spirit :)

I'm grateful for the many prayers for me and Simon during my pregnancy and all of the prayers that covered us during the 12 hours of labor.  I'll share Simon's birth story later this week, but I gotta say God's hand was definitely all over the labor and delivery process!

St. Simon and St. Jude, pray for us!

20 weeks along & 16 months old

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Somehow I blinked and I'm 20 weeks pregnant.  Twenty weeks!  That's pretty much the halfway point.  How did so much time pass without me really noticing?

When I was pregnant with Alexandria I remember feeling like it took forever to get to 20 weeks.  I would check my "What to Expect" app every Wednesday morning to find out the size of the baby and to watch that very perky lady give me two minutes of insight into utero.

While I do check the app from time to time to make sure I've got the right week in my mind and to know what food best represents the baby's size at this point, this time is different.  It's not that I'm ignoring this little one inside of me, I think time just feels different because I have an almost 16 month old who is growing up fast and changing everyday!

Bubbles before Bedtime

Somehow we blinked and our daughter went from an army crawling baby to a toddler whose vocabulary and personality have just exploded over the past couple of months.  It's like she's not just a baby any more, she's a little person with likes and dislikes, favorite books and toys, and is very excited about exploring the world around her.

I haven't written down all of the words that she can say yet, but I'm pretty sure we're well over 30 words at this point.  She has started telling us what she wants to do, putting together simple sentences like "This is a book." or "This is a ball".  Sometimes she just gets straight to the point with an enthusiastic "ELMO!!"

And boy is she full of personality!  She loves playing outside, especially in her new baby pool, and I've never seen a toddler so engrossed in books before.  She has two babies that she takes care of, and I'm pretty sure she's already got the big sister thing down pat.  She also gives the best hugs in the world, which melts my heart every.single.time.

Two years ago I took a pregnancy test during my lunch break.  My husband waited with me in the bathroom, and when we saw that big fat positive on the stick, there's no way that I could have imagined what life would be like a year or two from that moment.

One year ago when Alexandria was just 4 months old, I had no idea what sort of adventures we would be in for as she grew into a toddler.  And now as I watch her learn and grow I realize that there's even more excitement, even more love, even more wonder and awe ahead of us.

.

God willing, this time next year we'll have a 2 year old and a 7 month old in the house.  At this point my mind cannot compute that information right now and I'm not even going to try to imagine what life will look like in the Johnston Headquarters.

But I do know that it's going to be beautiful and wonderful.  There will be overwhelming days, and there will be peaceful moments.  There will be chaos and plenty of imperfection, but I'm confident that there will also be a lot of joy, laughter, and love.

Thank you Lord for the gift of this vocation!

Saints, Surprises, & Surrender

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Every morning on our drive to daycare Alexandria (1yr), and I say morning prayers.  Usually it's just simple things like thanking God for another day, asking that God keep us safe and bring us back together at the end of the day, and for any special intentions I can remember at 8am.  We always close by saying "We ask these things through the intercession of Our Lady and our Little Saint..." followed by 3 Hail Mary's, a Glory Be and then a litany of our family's patron saints:

We plan on making a patron saint wall in our house and ordering these icons from MonasteryIcons.com

St. Thomas Aquinas (my husband's confirmation saint), St. Faustina (my confirmation saint), St. Scholastica (Alexandria's birthday saint) & St. Catherine of Siena (patroness of miscarriages).  

We go through this litany every morning, and I've really enjoyed starting this tradition with my daughter.  She will even throw in an "A-Muh!" (amen) at the end for us.

Around the first week of February we were going through our traditional litany when I heard myself say, "St. John Paul II, pray for us.. St. Kateri Tekawitha, pray for us."  And then I said out loud, "Huh.  Where did they come from?"  Sure, JPII is a family favorite.  I'm a Theology of the Body junkie after all, so adding him to the list seemed appropriate.  But St. Kateri Tekawitha?  I didn't know anything about her except that she's the first Native American Saint and that her feast day is some time in July.  Why on earth would she come to mind?

I sort of shrugged it off , but we kept them in the litany from that point on.  Little did I know, this wasn't some kind of fluke.  St. Kateri and John Paul II knew something that I didn't.  

Fast forward to February 18th...

I took a pregnancy test.  It was positive.  

I'm due on October 21, the day St. Kateri was canonized a saint.  

October 22 is St. John Paul II's feast day.  

Well played, Holy Spirit.

This pregnancy is different from the other two.  For one, this is the first time we are really and truly surprised that we are pregnant.  We had very much been planning to wait the doctor's recommended 3 months after the miscarriage before trying again, if not longer.  So when I read the word "Pregnant" on the test, my first reaction was fear and worry... what if I had put this baby in danger by simply not waiting the amount of time my doctor had suggested?  Thankfully, my husband was incredibly encouraging (and continues to be) and reminded me that no matter what this child is a gift.  

Any woman who experienced a loss of any kind will tell you that the next pregnancy is just different.  I hesitated to accept the news, I struggled to open my heart to the excitement and joy out of fear that it would be stripped away.  Lent was a journey of healing, rediscovering joy, and realizing that this child deserves to know that he or she was loved from the moment of conception.  Fear can't  get in the way of opening my heart.

This Friday I will be 15 weeks pregnant.  There has been plenty of morning sickness, nausea, and heartburn... which I'm grateful for, because it means things are moving along.  Yesterday I had the joy of hearing this little one's heartbeat for the first time, which gave me a renewed sense of peace.  While I'm not sure the anxiety or questions of "what if?" will ever go away completely, I do feel like I'm able to surrender my worries into God's hands.

I think one of the greatest comforts of this pregnancy so far has been knowing that we have a Little Saint in heaven praying for his younger brother/sister, and the intercession of St. Kateri and St. John Paul II.  No matter what happens, God knew I needed prayers even before I knew I was pregnant, and that gives me hope!

For those struggling with infertility, hurting from miscarriages and the loss of children, and those who are longing for a child of your own... Please know that you and your intentions have been close to my heart, and I will continue to pray for you throughout this pregnancy and beyond.

For all of you who have been praying for our family since we lost our baby in December, I cannot express adequately how meaningful your prayers are to me.  Your prayers, encouragement, and this baby have helped joy return to my heart.

be at peace
walk on water
be not afraid

d*

Jesus I Trust in You!

Alexandria the Great: The Birth Story

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This week Alexandria the Great turned 6 months old.  I can hardly believe it.  Six months since her grand entrance.  Six months of taking on the adventure of motherhood one day at a time. 

So in commemoration of making it halfway through her first year of life, I thought I would finally share her birth story...mostly for myself and for the ability to hopefully compare this to other Baby Johnston deliveries in the future.

(If birth stories aren't your thing, you can scroll down to the bottom and read about how we chose her name. )

Let's rewind 25 weeks....

I was almost 41 weeks along, and I was tired of being pregnant.

This was after walking up and down the most enormous hill we could find in town.  

     

Sure, I understood that it was called an "estimated due date", but when February 4th came and went and I still didn't have a baby it felt like Christmas without any presents. Where was my baby?

Baby Johnston was showing no signs of making an appearance any time soon. 

I was tired. I was sore. Sleeping at night was nearly impossible, heartburn was vicious as ever, and it felt like Baby J was nuzzling further up into my rib cage instead of making the journey south.  I was enjoying Downton Abbey & Gilmore Girls marathons with Mom, but what I really wanted was my baby.  And I was getting impatient.   

On the morning of Monday the 9th we went to an appointment with the doctor to discuss what would be best for me and for baby. We had originally scheduled an induction for that night, but we decided we were willing to wait a little longer.

We asked Doctor P if we could go in on Wednesday evening to be induced, but when he told us he would be gone and would have to request another doctor, we decided to schedule the induction for Tuesday night, with the hopes that we would have a baby by Wednesday morning. Wednesday was the Feast of Our Lady of Lourdes, and  that actually gave me a sense of peace  as we moved forward. 

When we got home from the appointment I ate lunch, and then slept the rest of the afternoon.  I had felt what I thought were maybe contractions earlier that day, but I wasn't getting my hopes up.  I was tired.  And frustrated.  And still pregnant.  (Cue violin)

I finally got up around 5:45, and Mom wanted me to go walk the mall with her.  

Before leaving the house, we talked about what would happen if my water broke.  I told my Mom about this article that had been my daily pregnancy email.  

"Oh don't worry," I said.  "Only 15% of women's water break before labor begins, so I think I'm good."  Mom commented on how surprisingly low that sounded, but we both agreed that the chances of my water breaking were so low that it wasn't worth worrying about... plus after the appointment I'd had with the doctor that morning I figured I'd be pregnant forever until I was induced.  

Around 6:40pm we left the house, leaving my husband to cook dinner while we drove over to the mall across the street. When we walked into the store I noticed a rack of men's pajama pants on clearance, and remembered that Michael needed another pair or two.  I couldn't remember his size so I gave him a call while my Mom went to another section of the store.  

Me:  "Hey!  PJ pants are on sale.  What size do you wear?"
Him:  "Let me check... hold on a second.  Large I think, yes Large."
Me: "Michael?"
Him:  "Yes?"
Me: "My water just broke."

And with that, I became one of the 15%!  Feeling particularly grateful that I had changed out of my skirt and into my super absorbent yoga pants, I waddled to the back of the store, found Mom and informed her that it was GO TIME.

I'm not sure if any of the JcPenny employees heard this exciting announcement, but after verifying that I hadn't leaked all over their floor we got in the car and headed back across the street to pack things up for the hospital.

When I got back in the house Michael was busy grabbing our mostly packed hospital bag, and trying to find little things like chargers, toothbrushes, etc.  I, on the other hand, was having a minor internal spaz attack:

The house is a mess! 

What is the baby going to wear when we go home? 

Heck, what am I going to name this baby?

What if this baby doesn't get the right name?!

I'm hungry.  I haven't eaten since lunch.I can't eat!  I'm having a baby.
 But I should eat.But I can't!

Michael and Mom tried to convince me that I needed to eat before I left, but I couldn't figure out what I wanted, and I was in "GO mode".  (This would later prove to be a mistake that will not be repeated with future Baby Johnston Deliveries.)

Right about the time we were packing the car was also when those contractions kicked in.

Oh boy.

We got to the Women's Center a little after 7pm.  I'm not sure what I expected...maybe I'd seen too many TV shows or movies where the woman pulls up to the hospital and the nurses rush her to the delivery room in a wheelchair.  I was surprised by how calm everyone was.  I waddled my way to the delivery room, put on their ever so elegant hospital gown, got hooked up to the machines, and signed some paperwork.  

Time to get this party started! 

Doctor P came by around 11pm to check on things.  Because Baby Johnston had already pooped in utero, he said that we really needed to get the baby out in the next 22 hours.  This meant we needed pitocin to help me progress, which meant those lovely contractions that I thought I was handling so well were about to get a whole lot more intense.  

And boy did they. 

I remember the nurse asking me, "So what are we doing for pain management?".  I just sort of chuckled and said "I'd like to make it as long as I can without anything, but we'll see what happens!"

And on the inside I really felt like:

 

 and a little bit of 

In hindsight, I really wasn't prepared to have a "natural" childbirth.  

Sure, I'd read a few articles, glanced at a few books, but we didn't really have a plan for dealing with the pain.  Yes, I had my bouncy ball.  We did the tennis balls in the sock thing to rub my lower back... And my husband did an amazing of helping me focus and breathe through each contraction.  In fact, without his encouragement and gentle presence I couldn't have made it as long as I did without drugs.

But after about 4 hours of tears, I knew that the only way we were going to progress was if we got the epidural.  

As the surprisingly peppy for 3:45am anesthisiologist prepped me, I felt really guilty.  I thought about how much the epidural would add to our hospital bill, and I also felt like I had somehow failed by not pushing through the pain.

But then the epidural went in...
And I'm pretty sure the heavens opened.

That epidural was the BEST decision I made for myself that day. 

As soon as the epidural kicked in I went to sleep.  Just like that.  I was relaxed enough that things could move along, and Michael was able to get some sleep as well.  

I woke up around 7:30am and I was still feeling really good and loving that epidural.  My Mom came in to trade places with Michael so he could run home real quick to get something.  Our home is 4 min away from the hospital so it wasn't a big deal for him to leave.

Let me mention here, my Mom is amazing.

Not only did she stay in the waiting room praying throughout the night for us, but she was affirming and encouraging throughout the entire labor.  And she even held my barf bag when Michael left, so she gets major points in Heaven for that ;). 

The nurses came in to check me and happily reported that I was fully dilated, and it would be time to push in about 30 min.  "We're going to do a practice push," she said.  I started pushing and then she shouted, "STOP!  STOP!  This baby is coming!  And that baby has a lot of hair!  We need to get the doctor...DO NOT PUSH ANYMORE."  

At which point I called my husband and told him to come back now.  It was Go Time. 

Doctor P finally came in around 9am and the team assembled.  

Because of how alarmed the nurse had been during my practice push, I really thought that this baby was just going to slide right on out.  Like maybe 2 pushes and boom, baby.  Right?

Um. Nope.

This is going to sound silly but I had no idea how hard pushing was going to be.  You'd think I would have picked up on that... I mean I was pushing a human being out of me...kind of a big deal.

My epidural was just wearing off, so could feel enough pressure to push, but there wasn't any pain.

I had two nurses on my left, Michael on my right, and Dr. P ready to catch.  I remember thinking that I had a "good" nurse and a "bad" nurse... but really they were both just encouraging me in different ways, and I needed both of them there.

I pushed.  Nothing.
I pushed again.  Something, but not enough.
About 4 or 5 pushes and I realized this was going to be one of the hardest things I had ever done (Again, silly aha moment).

Dr. P finally said, "If we can't get the baby out on this next push, I'm going to need to help things a little bit."  Pretty much all I heard was "I will cut you."

Um.. call those the words of inspiration that I needed because with that, I pushed like I had never pushed before, and all of a sudden... I could breathe.

The doctor had told me the night before that once baby came out they were going to need to suction the baby's lungs before handing the baby to me because of the meconium. I'm really glad that he had prepared me for that, otherwise I probably would have been scared and worried that he wasn't handing me my child immediately. 

I waited for someone to shout "IT'S A___" but no one said anything.  I remember feeling like things had gone quiet for a moment... then I heard the baby cry... but no one said anything to me.  Finally, I turned to Michael and asked "Is it a girl or a boy?"  "Umm.. I don't know yet..." he said, and then finally Dr. P jumped in, "Oh I'm sorry!  Not doing my job, it's a GIRL!"

It took a few moments for them to give her to me, but when we finally met, it was love at first sight.  You can read about that moment over here.  But long story short, meeting my daughter, seeing her for the first time, was like getting just a tiny snapshot of the infinite and miraculous love of God.

Mind. blown.  

Baby Johnston Gets a Name

One of the benefits of not knowing if "Baby Johnston" was a boy or a girl was that I felt like we could go to the hospital with options.  We'd come up with our top 2 girl and 2 boy names, and figured once we met the baby we'd know.  

It took a little while, but we settled on Alexandria Elise.  Alexander is the name of my Great Great Grandfather on my Mom's side.  I have a male cousin named after him, and I thought we might bring it back with a feminine touch :).  

And Elise?  Well, that was a name that I happened to come across during a meeting with parents preparing to baptize their baby.  I thought it was pretty.  Boom.

The meanings of her names are what I like the most.  When I hear "Defender of Mankind" it makes me imagine how God will work through her as she grows.  And the meaning of Elise, "pledged to God" reminds me that my prayer from day one has been that she will be the woman God created her to be.   

Usually the first question people ask me after I tell them her name is "What are you going to call her?"  Five syllables is a lot for one kid, I know.  Still, we call her Alexandria (the Great).  It's a big name, but I have a feeling it's going to fit her just fine :).  Some folks call her Alex, my family calls her Lexie, but her Dad and I will most likely always call her Alexandria....

....at least until we mix her name up with her siblings!

And there you have it, the story of how Alexandria the Great came into the world and got her name! 

Thank you Jesus for our beautiful baby girl, 

and for trusting us with the great task of being her parents.  

be at peace
walk on water
be not afraid

d*

Settling into a New Month and a New Vocation

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There's something very refreshing about flipping the calendar to a new month.  It's one of those little "resets" that we get 12 times a year.

Didn't get everything done I was supposed to do last month?  That's OK.  New Month.

Didn't do as well on my personal or spiritual goals the last few weeks?  That's OK.  New Month.

Of course, that refreshing new month feeling quickly turns into What do you mean the month's half over?! panic if I don't pay attention.  But for the most part a new month means "Deep Breath. Let's start again."

So here we are in November. 

At the beginning of every month I usually take some time to figure out my major goals, projects, tasks, etc. for work and at home, and try to get a sense of what my schedule will be like for the next 4+ weeks.  This month is no exception, and it turns out I've got plenty to keep me busy between now and Christmas... and then life slows down for a moment while I finish making this baby. 

But in the midst of goal setting and calendar sorting, I'm also finding myself trying to balance the busyness of the month and just enjoying the moment.  Yes, there are classes to teach, presentations to give, paperwork to complete, and plenty of unscheduled excitement that ministry provides on a daily basis.  Yet as I slip into the third-trimester of this pregnancy, I'm becoming more aware that I need to just enjoy the day, the week, the month, and not worry so much about the things to come.

And trust me, I tend to lean towards the worrier sometimes.  I know for a fact that there's plenty of things for me to potentially worry about.  Like some of the presentations I'm giving over the next two months, getting things ready at my office before I head out for maternity leave, preparing the house for Baby J...

...OR even just the reality that we're having a baby... This little person is making his/her grand appearance in about 13 weeks and I have no idea what to expect.  That's a little overwhelming sometimes. 

So I have a choice.

I can spend the next 13 weeks worrying over details at work, freaking out over the fact that I really don't know what life will be like when Baby J arrives, plus a million other things I haven't even thought to about yet....

OR I can enjoy this moment. This day.  This week.  This month.

Because things will get done, plans will be made, and this baby will arrive all in the proper time.

Plus, let's face it.  Life is going to be a lot different come the end of January or beginning of February.  Becoming a Mom ain't no small thing!  This vocation is taking on a whole new level of "Jesus I Trust in You!" and that's exciting!

But I need to be at peace.

I need to rest in the moment and allow God to continue working on my heart and soul.

Yes, there are details to sort through.  There's work to be done in preparation for being away from the office, and there's practical "nesting" like things that I need to start doing at home.  There's probably some books I should be reading about childbirth (started one. it was terrifying.), and I know I need to make time for the breastfeeding and birthing classes.

Still, with each week and each new month I know the ultimate goal is simply to be at peace and to rest in the moment with God.  

There's no amount of reading or specific number of classes that will perfectly prepare me for the months ahead.  One of the best things I can do for myself, my husband, and our baby is to strive to allow God to form me into the woman He wants me to be.  That won't happen with "to-do lists" or even the perfect birth plan.  

I need to be at peace.  I need to listen.  I need to trust. And I need to focus on Christ.

Surely, motherhood will be one of the best "life out of the boat" experiences to date!

be at peace
walk on water
be not afraid

d*

The One Thing I Did Well This Summer

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After graduating from the MA Theology program in May I had such plans for the summer!  Oh the books I would read!  The movies we would watch!  The home projects I would accomplish!  There would be wedding photos in albums and on the walls, I'd finally unpack all those boxes hiding in the closet in our basement, and I'd finally have time to blog.  I just knew that we'd get to September and I'd look back fondly on our summer adventures, proud of all that was accomplished during the last few months.

And here we are on the third day of Fall, and what did Deanna do this summer?

Well, I only finished one or two books... There's one wedding photo in a frame currently sitting up against the living room wall (because I can't decide where to hang it), and those boxes in the basement?  Yeah, they are still there.

But you know what I did do this summer?  I grew a baby human.

Yup.  That was my summer project.  Since June, Baby J has grown from the size of a poppy seed to the size of a small banana.  Baby J has arms and legs, fingers and toes, eyes, ears, a mouth, and is a big fan of kicking me in the bladder repeatedly...

And it is wonderful.  

On June 2nd during my lunch break I decided to take a pregnancy test since my husband was home with me.  This was probably the 4th or 5th stick I had peed on in the last few months, so I figured this would just be business as usual.  But when I looked at the stick, saw that undeniable plus sign in the circle, stuff.got.real.

After months of praying about it and really giving our best effort at discerning God's plan for our family, God said yes, and something pretty incredible happened.

A new life.  A baby human.  Our baby.

I won't lie, this summer has not been the most comfortable.  Kneeling before the porcelain god to occasionally deposit my last snack, the constant acid reflux, and the 12am and 3am trips to the bathroom are not my favorite.  Sure, baby bumps are cute, but figuring out how to dress myself when there are extra curves everywhere... that's a little frustrating.

I've also come to accept that gas is just part of my life now, Sometimes I'm just going to cry for no apparent reason (like last night when my husband asked if I wanted to do squats and I burst into uncontrollable tears for 10 minutes. For real.), and midday naps are a real treat when I can get one in.  

But even with all of the discomforts, and the massive of list of things I didn't accomplish this summer, it was truly one of my most productive summers yet.

There's a human being growing inside of me.  A little person, that God already knows and loves, is now part of our family.  I think those words from Scripture hit a little bit closer to home now:

Wonderful indeed!  I don't know who Baby Johnston will be, what plans God has for him or her... but we've been entrusted with the great gift of this child.  And sure, I'm the one carrying this kid around for another 19 weeks and providing for all of his/her physical needs, God is doing something even more miraculous.

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,
before you were born I dedicated you..."
Jeremiah 1:5

He knows our baby.  He's known our baby since before he or she was conceived.  Incredible!!!

I am proud of the fact that I've grown a baby human for the past 21 weeks and will continue to do so 24:7 for the next few months.  But I am also humbled by the fact that God is doing something truly miraculous here and He's entrusted us with the great responsibility and honor of being parents.  

Motherhood/Pregnancy is a whole new Life Out of the Boat adventure, but I look forward to seeing what God has in store for all of us over the months and years to come.  

Praying for all expectant mothers, especially those who are facing a particularly challenging pregnancy!  

St. Gerard & St. Anne, pray for us!

be at peace
walk on water
be not afraid
d*