20 weeks along & 16 months old

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Somehow I blinked and I'm 20 weeks pregnant.  Twenty weeks!  That's pretty much the halfway point.  How did so much time pass without me really noticing?

When I was pregnant with Alexandria I remember feeling like it took forever to get to 20 weeks.  I would check my "What to Expect" app every Wednesday morning to find out the size of the baby and to watch that very perky lady give me two minutes of insight into utero.

While I do check the app from time to time to make sure I've got the right week in my mind and to know what food best represents the baby's size at this point, this time is different.  It's not that I'm ignoring this little one inside of me, I think time just feels different because I have an almost 16 month old who is growing up fast and changing everyday!

Bubbles before Bedtime

Somehow we blinked and our daughter went from an army crawling baby to a toddler whose vocabulary and personality have just exploded over the past couple of months.  It's like she's not just a baby any more, she's a little person with likes and dislikes, favorite books and toys, and is very excited about exploring the world around her.

I haven't written down all of the words that she can say yet, but I'm pretty sure we're well over 30 words at this point.  She has started telling us what she wants to do, putting together simple sentences like "This is a book." or "This is a ball".  Sometimes she just gets straight to the point with an enthusiastic "ELMO!!"

And boy is she full of personality!  She loves playing outside, especially in her new baby pool, and I've never seen a toddler so engrossed in books before.  She has two babies that she takes care of, and I'm pretty sure she's already got the big sister thing down pat.  She also gives the best hugs in the world, which melts my heart every.single.time.

Two years ago I took a pregnancy test during my lunch break.  My husband waited with me in the bathroom, and when we saw that big fat positive on the stick, there's no way that I could have imagined what life would be like a year or two from that moment.

One year ago when Alexandria was just 4 months old, I had no idea what sort of adventures we would be in for as she grew into a toddler.  And now as I watch her learn and grow I realize that there's even more excitement, even more love, even more wonder and awe ahead of us.

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God willing, this time next year we'll have a 2 year old and a 7 month old in the house.  At this point my mind cannot compute that information right now and I'm not even going to try to imagine what life will look like in the Johnston Headquarters.

But I do know that it's going to be beautiful and wonderful.  There will be overwhelming days, and there will be peaceful moments.  There will be chaos and plenty of imperfection, but I'm confident that there will also be a lot of joy, laughter, and love.

Thank you Lord for the gift of this vocation!

Still At the Beginning {2nd Anniversary}

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On October 5th my husband and I celebrated our second wedding anniversary.  Two years... I can hardly believe that much time has passed.  We've learned and experienced a lot in these first two years of marriage, but I also realize that we are still very much at the beginning of a lot of new adventures. 

 

A couple in our parish recently celebrated 50 years of marriage.  Before their renewal of vows, the priest spoke about how when a couple walks down the aisle and stands at the foot of the altar on their wedding day they have no idea what they are saying "yes" to.   

Sure, God willing they completely intend every word that is spoken during the exchange of vows, but there's no way for a newlywed couple to anticipate all that will come in the decades ahead, no way to know what that "yes" will cost them.  And if we did somehow get a sneak peak of the crosses married life would bring with it, would we be as enthusiastic to say "yes"?

I can't imagine all that this couple has experienced in the last 50 years of marriage, all of the joys and the sufferings...   but I'm sure they would say that it has been completely worth it.

One of the most beautiful things about the sacrament of marriage is that we receive the grace that we need to say "yes".   There's no way we can live out God's free, total, faithful, and fruitful love by our own efforts.  There's no way we could love unconditionally without some Divine Intervention.  The vocation we embrace as married couples is to help our spouses and our children become saints.  We need all the extra help we can get!!

The day before our anniversary this song from the movie "Anastasia" got stuck in my head.  

We were strangers starting out on a journey
Never dreaming what we'd have to go through
Now here we are and I'm suddenly standing
At the beginning with you

No one told me I was going to find you
Unexpected, what you did to my heart
When I lost hope, you were there to remind me
This is the start...

Read more: Donna Lewis - At The Beginning Lyrics | MetroLyrics

In two years of marriage we've learned a lot about ourselves, one another... life... but I know there's still a lot of learning to do.  God willing there are still decades worth of new experiences and life lessons ahead of us.  The best part of all of this is that we aren't facing any of this on our own. 

In our second year we experienced one of the most exciting new beginnings of all:  the birth of our first child.  I think Michael would agree that becoming parents has been one of the most wonderful, happy, frustrating, sleep depriving, sometimes disgusting (did you know there's such a thing as projectile poop?! Neither did we, lesson learned.) and hilarious experiences of our entire lives.  And we are so grateful that God called us to this messy vocation :)

I am looking forward to other beginnings as we enter Year 3.  In fact, one "new beginning" is already underway.  The night before our anniversary we received a phone call that our offer had been accepted on a house.  Our first home!  As I'm sure you can imagine, this is a pretty major step for our family.  After a lot of prayer and discernment (and a lot of "Are you sure about that Lord?") we are putting down deeper roots.  We're excited, surprised, and doing our best to surrender our plans to God's hands. 

What continues to give me peace and joy in the midst of all of these new beginnings is that we aren't going through any of them on our own.  God has been part of our story from the very beginning and it is comforting to know that He will continue to be part of every step.  

be at peace
walk on water
be not afraid

d*

The New Adventure

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Just one year ago my husband and I were preparing to share the big news with our families.  We were excited, nervous, and morning sickness was becoming part of my regular schedule.  "Baby J" would be arriving in February... but I had no idea of just how much this little one was going to change our lives.

There's a quote in the Catechism of the Catholic Church that I've come to love ever since studying and teaching Theology of the Body:

God has revealed His innermost secret: God Himself is an Eternal exchange of love, Father, Son and Holy Spirit, and He has destined us to share in that exchange (CCC 221).  

I'm sure many different theologians have said something like this, but I will always remember hearing Christopher West talk about how a husband and wife are called to participate in God's life giving love.  This exchange of love is so powerful that nine months later they could be giving that love a name.  

On February 10th at 9:22am, we named that love Alexandria.  

When Alexandria Elise was held up for me to see and brought to my arms for the first time I was breathless.  I don't know if I will ever be able to adequately put into words the joy and awe of meeting my daughter.  God is an eternal exchange of love...and he has destined us to share in the exchange.  And we did!  And there she was!

She was placed in my arms and we just stared at one another.  It was love at first sight.  "You were so worth it." I said, over and over again.  Every pain, every discomfort, the long wait for her arrival, the pain of childbirth... it was all worth it because she was right here.  

Over the last four months I've realized that this is a whole new chapter in the journey.  As I continue the daily adventure in motherhood and I know that I still have lots to learn.  Life has changed for our family, but in a more wonderful and profound way than I could have ever thought possible. 

I feel like I've grown a lot over the past year.  It's hard for me to imagine what life was like before Alexandria came into our lives.  But more than anything I recognize the reality of CCC 221:  God has destined us to participate in His life giving love... and I am humbled by and grateful for this vocation of motherhood.

This is a new adventure.  The call to "get out of the boat" is stronger than ever, and I recognize that in this new adventure, we're called to trust God with everything, just like He's always called us to do.

Life out of the boat will be different, more exciting, perhaps even at little scary at times (and I'm not just talking about the blog! ;)).  Yet, I already know that it will be 100% worth the effort. 

God has blessed us with a beautiful, happy, and healthy baby girl and she is a reflection of that "eternal exchange of love" in which God has called us to participate. 

I'm looking forward to sharing this adventure with you all!

be at peace
walk on water
be not afraid

d*