Tuesday, November 4, 2014

Settling into a New Month and a New Vocation

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There's something very refreshing about flipping the calendar to a new month.  It's one of those little "resets" that we get 12 times a year.

Didn't get everything done I was supposed to do last month?  That's OK.  New Month.

Didn't do as well on my personal or spiritual goals the last few weeks?  That's OK.  New Month.

Of course, that refreshing new month feeling quickly turns into What do you mean the month's half over?! panic if I don't pay attention.  But for the most part a new month means "Deep Breath. Let's start again."

So here we are in November. 

At the beginning of every month I usually take some time to figure out my major goals, projects, tasks, etc. for work and at home, and try to get a sense of what my schedule will be like for the next 4+ weeks.  This month is no exception, and it turns out I've got plenty to keep me busy between now and Christmas... and then life slows down for a moment while I finish making this baby. 

But in the midst of goal setting and calendar sorting, I'm also finding myself trying to balance the busyness of the month and just enjoying the moment.  Yes, there are classes to teach, presentations to give, paperwork to complete, and plenty of unscheduled excitement that ministry provides on a daily basis.  Yet as I slip into the third-trimester of this pregnancy, I'm becoming more aware that I need to just enjoy the day, the week, the month, and not worry so much about the things to come.

And trust me, I tend to lean towards the worrier sometimes.  I know for a fact that there's plenty of things for me to potentially worry about.  Like some of the presentations I'm giving over the next two months, getting things ready at my office before I head out for maternity leave, preparing the house for Baby J...

...OR even just the reality that we're having a baby... This little person is making his/her grand appearance in about 13 weeks and I have no idea what to expect.  That's a little overwhelming sometimes. 

So I have a choice.

I can spend the next 13 weeks worrying over details at work, freaking out over the fact that I really don't know what life will be like when Baby J arrives, plus a million other things I haven't even thought to about yet....

OR I can enjoy this moment. This day.  This week.  This month.

Because things will get done, plans will be made, and this baby will arrive all in the proper time.

Plus, let's face it.  Life is going to be a lot different come the end of January or beginning of February.  Becoming a Mom ain't no small thing!  This vocation is taking on a whole new level of "Jesus I Trust in You!" and that's exciting!

But I need to be at peace.
I need to rest in the moment and allow God to continue working on my heart and soul.

Yes, there are details to sort through.  There's work to be done in preparation for being away from the office, and there's practical "nesting" like things that I need to start doing at home.  There's probably some books I should be reading about childbirth (started one. it was terrifying.), and I know I need to make time for the breastfeeding and birthing classes.

Still, with each week and each new month I know the ultimate goal is simply to be at peace and to rest in the moment with God.  

There's no amount of reading or specific number of classes that will perfectly prepare me for the months ahead.  One of the best things I can do for myself, my husband, and our baby is to strive to allow God to form me into the woman He wants me to be.  That won't happen with "to-do lists" or even the perfect birth plan.  

I need to be at peace.  I need to listen.  I need to trust. And I need to focus on Christ.

Surely, motherhood will be one of the best "life out of the boat" experiences to date!

be at peace
walk on water
be not afraid

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