This is the story of how God used the internet to not only lead me to my husband, but how this adventure in online dating taught us the beauty of God's perfect timing and God's plan for our lives.
{Part Two}
I'm sure you can understand the wave of relief that washed over the both of us as we walked towards each other confidently confirming that this was in fact the person we had spent the last six weeks speaking to.
Michael wasn't a creepy old man and neither was I.
So far so good.
We said our excited hellos and hugged each other. I remember it was one of those good bear hugs you get from a dear friend. "Wow, You're real! This is amazing!" he said.
I think we both needed a moment to get over the shock that this was actually happening. He was here. I was here. And now we got to spend the weekend figuring out what would happen next.
The original plan was ice cream, but due to a GPS failure we ended up at Starbucks instead. The conversation was just as easy as before, only this time Michael got to witness my goofy smiles in person. At one point Michael said, "The family that is hosting me and Sayf this weekend wanted to make sure that I told them where I was going and who you were, because you know... you could be an axe murderer or something..."
I laughed and pointed out that the company car I was driving did have space for a body or two in the trunk... but then realized, "Oh. I didn't tell anyone where I was going...." We laughed and agreed that that probably hadn't been my smartest decision of the week...
a kinda sorta really important side note:
Don't ever ever ever do that!! I should have told the family I was living with where I was, because in all truth Michael could have been fifty shades of crazy from the darkest reaches of the internet. I was confident he wasn't going to put me in the trunk of my car, but hey.. you can never be too careful, right? So if I can offer any online dating advice just don't do what I did. We laugh about it now, but seriously... what was I thinking?!?! Anyway, back to our story:
Despite my failure to take the proper precautions, I really appreciated how comfortable I felt around Michael. We stayed at Starbucks until it closed, and then I drove him back to his host family's home and we sat outside and talked some more.
Towards the end of the evening, Michael asked if he could hold my hand (he had been told about the forced hand holding experience with the other guy I met from CatholicMatch). When my hand rested in his for the first time I remember thinking "It fits!" I felt safe. I felt like our friendship had the potential to evolve into something very special, and we had the entire weekend to figure that out.
Now, it would be easy to say that from the moment we laid eyes on each other we knew that this was the ONE, but that just wouldn't be true. As wonderful as our first "date" had been, the next day was a little different.
It wasn't that Michael wasn't a perfect gentleman on our trips to dinner, the bookstore, and a walk through the park, but something was just different. Perhaps it was his rant umm, prolonged and passionate explanation of the evil of shows like American Idol, and how they reflect the lack of values in our society (something else we laugh about now). But by the end of the evening as I drove back home I started wondering if this had been a good idea.
I remember calling my parents that evening and telling them "I don't know! I just don't know what's going to happen! I mean he's nice but.. but I just don't know!" I think that I was waiting for that moment to know... to have that AHA! moment in which I knew exactly what was going to happen next...and it hadn't happened. Then my Dad gave me some advice that changed the entire weekend for me:
"Deanna, don't overthink this. Enjoy the moment."
I really appreciated my Dad saying that. It could have been just as easy for him to tell me that maybe I shouldn't hang out with Michael, or maybe this wasn't meant to be, but he didn't. Don't overthink this. Enjoy the moment. This wasn't license to do whatever or to not care about the time I was spending with Michael. But it was a solid reminder to be at peace, to have fun, and to put this in God's hands.
I prayed about it again that night and decided that my Dad was right. Perhaps this was just another opportunity to get out of the boat and trust God with the details.
I picked Michael up early Saturday morning, and we drove to a park close to the San Antonio Zoo. Since I was still in the middle of the 54-day rosary novena, we decided to pray the rosary together at the start of our day. This was about the time that we made Mary the patroness of our discernment/relationship.
And once again, the Blessed Mother must have done her thing because the rest of the day was absolutely wonderful.
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| Matthias the Mutt, keeping me company at work for 4 yrs |
We did all sorts of things around town: a museum, lunch, a movie, a ginormous bookstore, ice cream, and even a trip to the toy store. Michael insisted that I needed a buddy for my office, so he bought me a puppy (which remains on my desk to this day).
If I could name the "aha!" moment in which I knew I was falling in love with Michael, I would say it was after seeing "Prince of Persia". I had gone to the restroom, texted my Mom something vague like "Oh my goodness Mommmmyy.....*smiley face*" and walked back out to Michael where my hand met his. It was like a moment of clarity. Yes, this is supposed to happen.
Sunday was just as fun as Saturday, and we spent the entire day together again, which included going to Mass, touring the Alamo, and lots more hand holding. It had been a really good weekend.
Now the big question was, what happens next? We had finally met in person, we enjoyed spending time together, and we knew that this was definitely worth continuing. But now that our weekend had ended we realized that we still had the challenge of long-distance in our discernment. And this really was a discernment. We weren't playing around and this wasn't a summer fling. If we were going to start dating it was because we were discerning the vocation of married life, which meant God needed to play an active role.
And He did.
Michael and his family invited me up to Henderson for the 4th of July holiday weekend, and on July 2nd Michael and I shared our first kiss and officially became a couple. At the end of July, Michael came back to visit me in San Antonio and he met my family who was visiting from Memphis.
By the end of the summer we had officially become a couple and already met the families. So really, things moved much faster than I think we originally thought when those first emails and phone calls were made.
In the months that followed, I moved to Dodge City for a new job, and Michael got a job in the Diocese of Tyler, TX. We had a long distance relationship for a little over two years, and then Michael moved to Dodge City in November of 2012. We were engaged after the Easter Vigil Mass in 2013, got married October 5, 2013.
And I can't help but see how God's hand was part of every single detail.
When I look back on how God led us to one another I can't help but admit how perfect God's timing was. Michael and I didn't meet each other a moment too soon, or a moment too late. While my teens and early twenties may have had phases of frustration that I wasn't dating, or worrying that God was the only one who would ever love me, I can look at my journey and see how God was just preparing me for my husband.
Sure, I had to wait 24 years for my first date, my first boyfriend, and my first kiss.
Sunday was just as fun as Saturday, and we spent the entire day together again, which included going to Mass, touring the Alamo, and lots more hand holding. It had been a really good weekend.
Now the big question was, what happens next? We had finally met in person, we enjoyed spending time together, and we knew that this was definitely worth continuing. But now that our weekend had ended we realized that we still had the challenge of long-distance in our discernment. And this really was a discernment. We weren't playing around and this wasn't a summer fling. If we were going to start dating it was because we were discerning the vocation of married life, which meant God needed to play an active role.
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| July 2010: Making Ice Cream at Casa Johnston |
And He did.
Michael and his family invited me up to Henderson for the 4th of July holiday weekend, and on July 2nd Michael and I shared our first kiss and officially became a couple. At the end of July, Michael came back to visit me in San Antonio and he met my family who was visiting from Memphis.
By the end of the summer we had officially become a couple and already met the families. So really, things moved much faster than I think we originally thought when those first emails and phone calls were made.
In the months that followed, I moved to Dodge City for a new job, and Michael got a job in the Diocese of Tyler, TX. We had a long distance relationship for a little over two years, and then Michael moved to Dodge City in November of 2012. We were engaged after the Easter Vigil Mass in 2013, got married October 5, 2013.
When I look back on how God led us to one another I can't help but admit how perfect God's timing was. Michael and I didn't meet each other a moment too soon, or a moment too late. While my teens and early twenties may have had phases of frustration that I wasn't dating, or worrying that God was the only one who would ever love me, I can look at my journey and see how God was just preparing me for my husband.
Sure, I had to wait 24 years for my first date, my first boyfriend, and my first kiss.
But it was totally, 100% worth the wait.
be at peace
walk on water
be not afraid
d*
walk on water
be not afraid
d*
Ah I love it! Thanks for sharing your story. Every time I get discouraged about online dating I read about another couple that met online successfully and it gives me a little more hope each day.
ReplyDeleteThanks Beth Anne! Like I said I never thought that I'd do it, and I was always a little skeptical of those success stories... until now :-p. But it is so great that you are still giving it a try and staying open to whatever God has planned :) I'll keep you in my prayers!!
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